KAKAN ULFSDOTTER

I found these notes in a diary when cleaning out my bookshelf sorting out stuff like old lyric notes, sheet music from studies, photos, old love letters etc. This one caught my attention. It seems like I saved a mix of a diary note, a poem and a dream. Here it is:

 

The old grey cat jumps up on my chest when I am in my sleep. Her silhouette has a shining contour in the full moon light. She looks at me as if she wants to talk to me. What does she want to say? Veils of clouds moving around the moon. When they leave I get blinded again by the shining light. It is all silent and still. As if we are all awaiting something. I get up and look at my daughter in her sleep. Her face is so peaceful. It looks exactly as when she was a baby girl and I used to look at her in her sleep. I hold my breath, just standing there watching. I think of other baby girls that are asleep in the apartments in the blocks in our neighbourhood right now. How fragile their eye lids are and how their dreams move under them like the veils of clouds around the full moon. I go back to my bed. Vanessa the cat is still watching me with yellow eyes. I try to fall asleep, but the full moon light is so bright. I think of a friend of mine.I think of how much he loves his freedom yet so prisoned when unable to give love for free and how unaware of that contradiction he is.